Strangers, Again

I have this friend for sometime now. He used to be one of the people whom I can lean on to, a person I can call on anytime of the day and he'll be there for me. We used to be classmates when we were in college until the time he was transferred to another block. But in spite of that, we remained friends, close friends that is. I can still vividly remember the time when he and my best friend talked during their breaks from our hospital duty. He told my best friend how attracted he is to me or was it in love? He told her (my best friend) how much he likes me but I was just out of his league, that I was of high maintenance. My best friend told him he can't blame me if sometimes I act all bratty and spoiled since I am the youngest of the family.

Right after college, we remained how we used to be but.. not for long. For a year or two of letting me know his presence, I didn't fully realize he was starting to detach his self from me. He got a girlfriend, but he still accompanied me to wherever I want to go. He'd leave his girlfriend and go with me. So every time we're together he'd tell me straight on my face he'd like a hug from me, or if I want him to do something I'd have to give him a kiss but not in a serious way. But I refused to all of it, whoever lets a guy kiss her when his not your boyfriend?

We were like two people in a relationship, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, we fought like couples, doesn't talk for days and then things go back to normal. For me we were just friends. Not until a couple of months later, things between us were in a blur. It's like we're in a cold war. The nonstop texting, the two of us hanging out together, food trips just suddenly stopped. Vanished. For me it wasn't big of a deal.

Not until now that I realized how stupid I was to let him slip out of my hand, he was for me a perfect friend and maybe a would-be perfectly imperfect boyfriend. All I ever saw was his flaws, not all the good attributes he had. I was so blinded by the idea of having a perfect boyfriend, the kind of boyfriend you see on television. I was so blinded by the physical appearance I see on tv, that I searched for it in him. I've come to realize that such people doesn't really exist.

So now, I don't really know if I am attracted to him or do I just miss him. This definitely is karma playing at me.
To the guy whom I took for granted, I miss you. <3

I came across with this while I was making this blog.